prioritising life's decisions before it is too late.

We get distracted in life and loose focus from precious stuff.

Today I rushed to Bangalore to meet my husband’s cousin as she lost her husband suddenly with pancreatitis and multiple organ failure.

We attended their wedding 8 months after our wedding and they have 2 lovely girls as old as our boys.

They made beautiful villa 2 years ago with a lot of passion and every room and corner was worked with a lot of detailing and  was exclusive designed.

They both are wonderful couple who had lot of love and support for each other.

I heard from the wife and girls that he enjoyed his drink everyday and was under a bit of financial stress as he didn’t compromise with the house anywhere so budget went more than he planned. 

His daughter said to me that her mom tried her best to make him stop drinking and pushed him a lot about taking up yoga and exercise to improve his health.

I lost my father when I was 18 and he was smoking and drinking and had heart attack and I wonder always why no one made him understand the risks of his habits and importance of healthy living and the danger of loosing his life .

Today after seeing this family, my past flashed back to memory and I was wondering how we all loose focus from priorities of life like taking care of our health and spend so much energy on making bigger digit paycheques, huge investments, grand villas and in amassing wealth.

We all love our children and family and their future plan is always our priority and therefore we plan investments etc but we forget that our presence and being alive is the most important gift we can give our families. There are some exceptions where unfortunate accidents and tragedies hit us inspite of our best efforts.

I wish we all can speak out to each other and children can discuss these issues with adults in families and can seek timely help to counsel the parent and help them out of this.

Children are subjected to a lot of distress when they see their parents struggling with these issues but they do not know how to help or handle the issue and they are lucky if they find an adult to confide in and can receive good support at the crucial time many times.

Young mothers are not equipped with the confidence to handle the pressure of judgement about drinking or any form of marital problem so they try to keep it within the four walls of their home and the children understand the message that this is the secret to guard and it will cause the family a bad name if their problem is spoken out and might loose the friends and families love.

I am sure all of us have at least one family around which is silently suffering and living in pain and I hope and wish we can hold their hands and help them through it and show them the care and way ahead with right professional counselling or other methods .

Some problems could be out of hand and intervention might not change the whole scenario but still reaching out to the mother and children will give them great confidence and strength to go ahead.

 We desperately don’t want to experience shame, and we are not willing to talk about it. Yet the only way to resolve shame is to talk about it .

Brene Brown