kamala kakumanu

 ‘What I know for sure is that speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we have’ Oprah Winfrey. The learning which has changed a lot for me from inside is the realisation to see the truth as it is. It seems very simple but it is complex. Seeing truth as it is requires immense courage, no ego, non-judgemental,detachment from our own opinions and above all accepting that we are wrong many times. I am still a work in progress in this but have come a long way from where I was earlier. My seeds for this thought process started with this beautiful book by Eckhart Tolle called ‘The New Earth’ where he talks so deeply about Ego and I realised all the thinking in my head is most of the times my Ego telling me stories and not the real truth. It is convenient and easy to just ignore the truth and accept our own self mind made stories as temporarily they make us happy but life is a self revealing process and it ultimately will drive us or lead us to truth . Life gave me experiences which ...

 My maternal grandmother is a very important part of my life as I realised I express my love to my loved ones as she loved me.  My grandmother was a very simple woman who inherited a lot of wealth from her parents. She had a very strong mother who was very authoritative and was managing the lands and labour and was smart with finances. After my grand mother lost her mother, all her property was inherited by my grandmother and grandfather. My grandfather was not smart with money and so eventually lost most of the wealth. I remember my grandfather passed away and my grandmother started staying more with us and I always felt very close to her. She was very calm in contrast to the world around me. she is not much educated and her world was limited. She was very meticulous with any work she does like cooking, cleaning and household stuff. I used to sleep with her in her bed during my  summer breaks as my parents both were working and used to be late from work. She used to narr...

I got married while I was still in college and since then always have been with my family. I am eternally grateful that I am loved by my family always . I have always wanted more from my husband in terms of time and attention. It used to make me sad if he is away and I looked forward for his return always . This seems very normal and rather good for most of us . Since past 6 years, my husband is working in a different city and I would meet him on the weekends. Initial days were very tough as I am always wanting his presence. I cried , fought and resented and blamed everyone and everything. Suddenly stillness came into my life and the noise settled down. I started feeling that I cannot ask anyone to make me happy and I cannot put that pressure on anyone to give me company. I realised I feel very entitled about my husband. I always felt we both should be there for each other and do a lot for each other. This is what I saw while growing up and I see around me in good marriages. I am grate...

I was taking a nap peacefully on one afternoon next to my husband and I suddenly woke up with a very old childhood memory which was very special for me . It was deep inside my subconscious memory . I had a friend Neelima in my residential college in 11th and 12th grade. We both were in hostel together and we belong to the same town so for one of the vacations we went home together and I happened to stay back at her place that night and that evening and night has etched a great memory forever. We reached her place and her mom has prepared for our bath with tubs of hot water and helped us wash our long hair . She later dried our hair gently and invited us to the table which was organised with delicious home cooked curries , rice and a dessert. Then she took us to our beds which were prepared flawlessly with crisp cotton sheets and mosquito nets around both our beds. They had a three or a four room home but I was so touched by the love and care . Now I understand that is ‘unconditional lo...